99% The Santorum Effect

Rick Santorum is the guy that never got to “do” Betty or Veronica in High School. He’s pissed off that “today”almost any normal guy can do either or both ladies on any given weekend.
He hates that he has to be “faithful” to one vagina and now wants to impose his “death sentence” on everyone else. He believes that if he and his other Godfearing friends can get the pill off the market all that fun that he missed out of will go away and he can have peace knowing that the whole world isn’t having more fun than he is.
Now that he has the funds to enjoy his penis, he is stuck in a world of shame that he created and believes is the “right way” to be, (yet his balls forever tell him a different/better story) so as he struts around in his 50’s sweater vest pretending to not be a millionaire lobbyist and realizes that his life has passed him by and hates that others are still having fun.
Poor Rick, the man that can count his encounters on half the fingers on one hand and now has to pretend that it’s a good thing.
BTW  Ricky-boy what have you ever done to make mining safer? Nothing, why not, didn’t daddy work in the mines??
Oh yea, how did you become a millionare on a congressmans salery?
dutz008 | February 20, 2012 at 5:04 pm | Categories: Sock Drawer | URL:

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