The Abu Dhabi Theme Park Investment Group presents a once in a life time chance to invest in the future of entertainment:
Plans are being drawn up for the first Muslim Theme Park, the one where Muslims win. Some of the exciting adventures will include:
- Stone the Christian, where unsuspecting Christians will be lured into a town square with the promise of redemption and then stoned to death by the audience.
- Kill the Infidel; this involves chasing down and running non-Muslims over with Hummers.
- You will be able to gaze upon the invisible statue of Mohammad.
- You can enter an empty room that still awaits a picture of the first Arab inventor.
- Visit the “Hall of Failed Films” where sound engineers try to match the words with the lip movements of the films produced in Abu Dhabi. The bonus room lets you watch while the “Loss meters” spin wildly showing the amount of money lost on each film. All films end with a great Muslim victory.
- Ride the “Wheel of Faith” where Muslims of true and devote faith are placed on the Ferris Wheel of Faith which is spun so fast that only the truly faithful aren’t thrown off to their deaths in the desert outside the park fence.
- “Change your faith booth”, where anyone can go to renounce their faith and become a Muslim and maybe receive cash.
- “Guess the Beauty” booth where you choose one of seven women dressed in the Arab Pike-a-Boo Abays . Only one of them is not a leper. After choosing, you must remove the Abayas and have dinner with her in one of the many fine public restaurants.
- You and your “Date” will dine on some of the finest foods in the area, perhaps stuffed Camel might be your entrée. The Camel is stuffed with a stuffed Goat which has been stuffed with a stuffed tender Lamb. The Lamb is stuffed with Humus. A side dish of eggplant and garlic rounds off the meal.
- While dining with your fabulous or maybe not so fabulous date, you will be entertained by Abu Dhabi’s funniest comedian, Ocbad A Tosaturd. He will keep you in stitches with some of his famous jokes such as, “What do you get when a Jew bites you?” ——————-Rabbis. Or “How is the best way to look at a Jew?” —————————————–Through the sights of your rifle or from a very long distance, that goes for the American Army as well and is especially true of anyone named Bush—Cheney—Rumsfeld—the Pope and the list goes on and on. That’s what makes this joke so entertaining; you can add anyone you want. I’m still laughing from the last time I heard it.
- After dinner you can stroll down to the “Match the Limbs” room where you can guess why the men with missing limbs lost them “What was their crime?” Prizes are given to the audience for correct answers. You can also try to “Match the severed limbs” with the men to see if they fit.
- At midnight the Police will grab someone, handcuff him, put a hood over his head and several policemen will beat him with canes until he guesses what his crime is. Then after removing his hood, he will reach into a hat, and with the appropriate music in the background, “Pick a Punishment”. They range from getting money to being pulled apart by Camels. The audience is encouraged to guess the punishment and win prizes.
Investments are in $50,000 blocks.