Mullet Man Gone Wild

Sam Mullet, an Amish bishop, allegedly directed a band of followers to cut off the beards and hair of rivals in eastern Ohio.

You remember Sam Mullet, he’s famous for inventing the Mullet hairstyle (hairstyle my ass, it’s a beard on top of your head). Anyhow after he lost his hair he grew his beard on his face like everyone else (Lincoln Style, no mustache) and somehow recruited a “band of followers”. Desperately seeking his lost limelight, Mullet and his “band of followers” roamed the Amish countryside looking for something to do that would draw attention.

He overheard a conversation of two rival Amishers: Why don’t you have a beard says number one Amish guy? Cuz I don’t want to cultivate anything on my face that grows wild around my ass says number two Amish guy. Hearing that exchange, it became clear what Mullet and his “band of followers” would have to do and they did it, cut off the beards of everyone they see.

It just so happens that in Ohio it’s illegal to cut off someone’s beard without their permission so Mullet and his “band of followers” were arrested, go figure.

The moral to this story is clear and I urge you to spread it amounst your friends and piers. Have a (fill in the blanks )**(

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