Voting in America

I was thinking about changing from being an Independent to the Republican Party, but I couldn’t give up Evolution,  The Round Earth and Gravity, ideas and facts I’ve learned to love.
Remember: Vampires were once people too: lloooooooooyd

A Reason To Kill

To all good Christians , Today is the beginning of the “Festival to Kill Day”.
If you read your bible, this is the day that Jesus spoke to the masses preaching the killing of all men and women that you don’t like or even think you don’t like you.
You can use me (Jesus) as an excuse if you need to He said, or perhaps “love of country” or whatever you want, but kill,kill,kill the ill.
When the Romans heard of this they convened a committee to investigate if any laws had been broken. At the time, the Romans were in a fierce competition with the Vikings on a world-wide killing contest.
After Jesus entered the contest the Romans charged Him with Copy-write infringement and had him crucified.
That gives all of you war mongrels the cover you need to send your sons, daughters, friends, brothers etc. into battle to kill or be killed.

Man’s Best Friend

Do you know who loves you no matter what, your pet. all It really asks is that you play with them, pet that sweet spot and feed them on time. which brings us to our story:

Ned rescued a puppy from the pound, named her princess and raised her with lots of playful love. They were the best of friends. 10 years later Ned climbed up a tree to pick that “last apple” of the season.
Princess was watching as Ned fell from the tree breaking is back when he landed. As Ned lay on the ground immobile and in pain, he told Princess to go for help. Obediently Princess got up started to leave but returned and laid by Ned’s side. This happened a dozen times until Ned realized that Princess was never going to leave him, when Ned resigned to his situation the pain went away and he died peacefully with Princess lying by his side.
After Ned was gone Princess got up and walked towards the house howling and barking and howling and barking remembering all those times that Ned pretended to throw the ball but didn’t.
All you need is LOVE, and a crafty Gypsy just in case. lloooooooyd

Wall Street Versus Every Else

I’m just the spokesman

Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Now change the word “greed” for “power” and that’s what we have with the Banks and Wall Street. BTW if anyone out there can still add, YOU CANNOT increase your profits quarterly (as Wall Street demands) forever, it’s impossible. What’s wrong with a company making a steady and sistainable”yearly” profit and maybe keep some jobs in America”??? The idea of buying stocks for a long term profit and investment has become completely corrupt, WHY? Because neither the Brokerage houses nor the Salesmen think anything is “Long Term” anymore.

Mullet Man Gone Wild

Sam Mullet, an Amish bishop, allegedly directed a band of followers to cut off the beards and hair of rivals in eastern Ohio.

You remember Sam Mullet, he’s famous for inventing the Mullet hairstyle (hairstyle my ass, it’s a beard on top of your head). Anyhow after he lost his hair he grew his beard on his face like everyone else (Lincoln Style, no mustache) and somehow recruited a “band of followers”. Desperately seeking his lost limelight, Mullet and his “band of followers” roamed the Amish countryside looking for something to do that would draw attention.

He overheard a conversation of two rival Amishers: Why don’t you have a beard says number one Amish guy? Cuz I don’t want to cultivate anything on my face that grows wild around my ass says number two Amish guy. Hearing that exchange, it became clear what Mullet and his “band of followers” would have to do and they did it, cut off the beards of everyone they see.

It just so happens that in Ohio it’s illegal to cut off someone’s beard without their permission so Mullet and his “band of followers” were arrested, go figure.

The moral to this story is clear and I urge you to spread it amounst your friends and piers. Have a (fill in the blanks )**(

A little Long But Worth It

College of Medicine. What else can go wrong? Read on and find it.



If your libido is normal and you can achieve an erection, but you can’t have an orgasm even with adequate stimulation, you be suffering from anorgasmia. Studies suggest that between 2 and 5 percent of men experience this sexual dysfunction at some time; and it’s more common in gay men than in straight men. The cause is more likely to be psychological than physical, although nerve damage can be a factor. Treatment of anorgasmia will depend on the root cause.

Answer: Be with someone that turns you on, simple, requiring no medicine

Erectile Dysfunction

If you have trouble getting or sustaining an erection that is firm enough to have sexual intercourse, you could have ED. Men are much more likely to have ED as they age — before age 60, it affects only about 4 percent of men. “Thirty years ago, men did not complain about ED, and if they did, they were told it was psychological,” says John S. Wheeler, MD, professor of urology at Loyola University Medical Center in Maywood, Ill. “The good news is that almost all men can now be helped with medications or other treatments.”
Answer: Be with someone that turns you on OR take a pill that will allow you to boink anyone

Exertional Headache

If you’re able to have sex without any problems but get a severe headache shortly afterward, you could have exertional headache syndrome. According to a Norwegian study, exertional headaches affect up to 12 percent of the population. You might notice you also get them following other types of, nonsexual, physical exertion; and if you get migraines, you’re more at risk for this type of headache. In rare cases, exertional headaches can be caused by brain abnormalities, and your doctor might order a special brain imaging study. But in most cases no cause is ever identified, and an anti-inflammatory type of pain reliever is prescribed.

Answer: Be with someone that turns you on OR get some damn exercise, you lazy slob

Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder

If you are an otherwise healthy guy, but you just don’t have a desire for sex, you could be suffering from hypoactive sexual desire disorder. “The more common name for this disorder is decreased libido,” says Dr. Montague. “It’s fairly common, and it can have many causes.” Up to 15 percent of men may experience this problem. The root could be physical or psychological and treatments range from male hormone therapy to psychological counseling.

Answer: Decreased libido my ass, get into a room with a really “Smokin Hot” chicks (or guys, gatta be PC) and see how fast this clears up.


If your sex drive is low and you also have a depressed mood, trouble concentrating, and loss of muscle mass, you could have hypogonadism. “Primary hypogonadism is caused by failure of the testicles to produce enough testosterone,” explains Montague. “Secondary hypogonadism is caused by failure of the pituitary gland in the brain to stimulate hormone production. In other words, the problem could be in the thermostat or in the furnace.” Treatment may include testosterone replacement therapy through an injection, patch or gel.

Answer: This is so simple even your balls know the answer: Go find someone that turns you on or hire an expensive hooker, the thought of the money you spent will wake up that testosterone. 

Low T

Symptoms of low testosterone, simply called low T, are the same as those for hypogonadism; in fact, hypogonadism and low T are different names for the same disorder. There is a natural decline in men’s testosterone that starts after age 30. “Testosterone levels peak at about age 18,” explains Dr. Wheeler. “Even though levels decline as men age, most men make enough testosterone to avoid any sexual dysfunction.” If you’re concerned, your doctor can check your testosterone level with a blood test. “Testosterone replacement therapy could be considered in men who have really low levels and severely reduced libido,” adds Wheeler.

Answer: See above or get some amphetamines or poppers (those things they use on heart attack persons), that’ll get that spark back, at least for a while. Take along a few asprins for the insueing headache that follows.

Peyronie’s Disease

If your penis develops a painful bend when you get an erection, you could have Peyronie’s disease. This disease is a rare cause of sexual dysfunction, affecting about 3 percent of men between age 30 and 80. You’ll likely notice scar tissue forming on the top or bottom of the penis that feels like a hard lump. “Injections of a drug called verapamil directly into the hard lesions of the penis reverse Peyronie’s disease in about 80 to 90 percent of cases,” says Wheeler. “If injections do not work, surgery can be done.”

Answer: Ouch is my first reaction, but then again apparently not everything can be solved by finding a “hot chick” perhaps sleeping with a pipe on your pipe might do the trick in this case

Premature Ejaculation

If you have normal libido and maintain an erection, but you ejaculate before or very soon after starting intercourse, you could be experiencing premature ejaculation. “This is probably the number one sexual health complaint of men,” says Montague. “It is most common in younger men who have little experience in having sex with a partner.” But it may also be an early warning for ED in older men, who find they need to rush to climax before their erection starts to give out, he adds. Most men can learn to control premature ejaculation without treatment.

Answer: Stay away from really “Hot Chicks” till you mature, in the meantime for God’s sake, enjoy the moment (no pun intended).

Post Orgasmic Illness Syndrome

If you have a normal sexual experience, but you get a flu-like illness after sex that lasts for several days, you could have a condition called post orgasmic illness syndrome or POIS. “This condition is rare — it may be more common in women and is very uncommon in men,” says Montague. “The cause is not well understood.” A small study of 45 Dutch men published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine suggests that a sperm allergy may be to blame and that allergy treatment may offer some relief.

Answer: Trade this loser in for someone you are not allergic to. Go to

Retrograde Ejaculation

If you have normal libido, a normal erection, and a normal orgasm, but no ejaculation, you could have retrograde or inhibited ejaculation. “Retrograde ejaculation occurs when semen goes back into the bladder, instead of coming out through the penis,” explains Montague. This is usually caused by partial prostate surgery or a disease that affects the nerves supplying the prostate, such as diabetes. “Absence of ejaculation is usually seen in men who have had their prostate completely removed,” he adds. As long as you’re not trying to have children, you don’t need to be treated for this condition.

Answer: What’s the problem again? Fun without guilt, as long as you’re not Jewish or Baptist, I don’t see the problem.

BTW, how many of you are going to, be honest now.